We need Link back
by Princess Ayame-aka AaS
Summary: My first fanfic. Something bad happen to Link so its up to Saria, Malon, and Zelda to save Hyrule. Will they get along. R&R please. Chapter 10 up!
1. Zelda's Destiny

**A/N:** Even though I revise this chapter, it's still my first fic. Matter of fact, I revised the whole story. I even change the title.

**Disclaimer:** Author doesn't own it.

**Note: **This story is not exactly like the game! Zelda and Impa never left the castle. You know that scene in the game when Zelda threw Link the ocarina of time, it never happened. Link did however get the Ocarina of time. Don't worry about Link, you'll find out what happen to him in chapter 6. Enjoy!

* * *

**We need Link back**

_**Chapter 1: Zelda's Destiny**_

_**By: Princess Ayame**_

In a dark pink and white room lies a sleeping princess. The princess sleeps peacefully in her pretty dark room, till a door opens revealing some light to break the darkness. Then a few footsteps and some slight whispers from the night visitor of the room. "Wake up princess" the guardian of the princess whispers. A few more whispers and tugs but the princess doesn't show and sign of awake ness. So then the next move… a water gun.

"Zelda wake up!" Impa shouts as she sprays the Zelda with a super soaker (**A/N:** man that don't sell those anymore). "You sleep like your father" Impa says still spraying Zelda.

"Okay I'm up!" yells the newly **wet** Zelda.

"Good" Impa says satisfied as she lowers the gun, "there's something your really need to know"

"You're leaving?"

"No, Hy…"

"You tried to kill your self again"

"No! I was high that time"

"Your pregnant by my father and you haven't told him yet because you think he might be pissed and send you out of the castle for all eternity?"

"NO! Where you get a crazy idea like that from?"

"Lifetime"

"Oh, well that not it"

"Then what?"

"I had a vision"

"Rrrrriiiiiggghhht" Zelda says sarcastically

"The vision showed Hyrule in danger! It also showed three girls, a blonde which was mostly likely you, a farm girl with red hair and a green headed kokira trying to save it because the hero of time…Zelda Wake Up!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, so what about the hero of time"

"Forget it take this" Impa hands Zelda an ocarina. Then the annoying music plays (you know that music that plays every time you gain a special item).

"That music is annoying" Zelda says as the music ends.

"Tell me about it"

"Anyways thanks for the flute"

"It's not a flute, it's an ocarina"

"Oh. Hey where's that other Ocarina?"

"I gave it to Link. I thought he might need it."

"Oh"

"You'll need to learn your lullaby or also know as the royal family song."

Impa played Zelda lullaby. Zelda copies her perfectly. Then the annoying music plays again. A blue text box then appears saying: You learned Zelda lullaby. Then it said a bunch of other stuff about using the C buttons.

"Impa, where'd the blue text box come from?"

"That doesn't matter now, go to Lon Lon Ranch, which is east of here, I think. There's a girl there who supposed to help you. From there go to the Forrest. That's where your next companion is. That's also where the Great Deku Tree lives. You'll get all your answers from her."

" What are my companions names?" Zelda asked.

"There… I forgot"

"Your a lot of help"

"Just go"

"Are you retarded or something? Check the time, its 3 o clock in the morning!"

"Yes it is, but the early the better. And the more time I have to make up a lie to your father if he asks where you are. Now go!"

"Make me"

Impa holds up the water gun she had in her hand. Zelda getting the hint left the castle to Lon Lon.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading. I think this chapter was way better than the first version of it even though it's still kind of short and maybe not as funny. About that whole Lifetime thing, my friends and I were watching Lifetime for like two whole hours and we started asking our parents these weird questions. Guess Lifetime will do that to you. Bye Bye

Impa looks at the blue text box that still there even though the chapter was over. "Where'd that thing come from?"


	2. Malons fate

**Disclaimer:** Even though the author revised the chapter she still doesn't own it HAHAHA.

**Author:** Why did you say it so harsh?

**Disclaimer:** Sorry.

**Author:** Really?

**Disclaimer:** No

Author hits disclaimer with a pot that came out of nowhere.

* * *

**_We Need Link Back _**

**_Chapter 2: Malon's Fate _**

_**By: Princess Ayame**_

Zelda reaches the ranch in one peace. She quietly walks around a little bit till she spots a huge fat guy (who kind of resembled a Mario) walk in to a barn. Zelda followed him inside the barn. The guy must have been kind of stupid not to recognize her. Inside the barn there were a lot of horses in stable, cows, a pin of roosters and a red head… with a shotgun.

"Malon I have bad news. Hyrule is…"

"Hold on dad" Malon interrupts pointing the shotgun at the rooster pin.

A rooster crows.

Malon shoots the rooster.

The rooster dies.

End of that story.

"What's up dad?"

"Um, Hyrule's in danger" Talon says looking at the dead rooster.

"…. SO?"

"You have to help save it"

"Why?"

"Because the tree said so"

"What tree?"

"The tree in my vision"

"You have visions?"

"Yup, and they help me sometime too"

" This isn't like that one time when you said you had a vision that there was a great chicken god living on Death Mountain who gives out an infinite amount of chicken eggs and you made me climb all the way up that damn mountain for nothing but crazy Gorons yelling at me?"

"No this visions different. I'm not drunk, at least not yet anyway."

"Uh-Huh"

"That reminds me I have a gift for you. I'll be right back"

"But I never said I was going." Malon sighed as she glances over at a cow.

"How long have you been ease dropping?" Malon asked.

"Moooo" moo's the cow.

"Not you stupid heifer, the girl behind you!" Malon shouts.

"Since you guys started talking," Zelda says as she walks up from behind the cow. "That guy must have been pretty dumb not to have notice me right behind him".

" Tell me about." Malon says

"You're the girl whose dad delivers milk to the castle. Malon is your name right?" Zelda asks.

"Yup, who are you?" Malon asked.

" You mean you don't recognize me?"

"Nope"

"Guess"

"Okay, um, royal servant?"

"No"

"Hired maid?"

"No"

"Really? I thought I saw you, never mind. I give up who are you?"

"Princess Zelda!"

"Oh… you don't look like a hired hooker"

"Who ever said I look like a hired hooker?"

"You know, that really cool forests girl Saria. I never met her though just heard stories about her. Unlike most of her kind, she can leave the Forrest because she's "Special"".

"I'll have to pay her a visit. Anyways, everything your father was talking about is true. That's why I'm here."

"Really? Lets go then."

"Wow, that was pretty easy"

Zelda and Malon headed for the exit of the ranch. Then Talon stops them with something in his hand. Malon assumes that's what he wanted to give her.

"Here Malon", Talon said handing her the item, "it's a new shotgun. I was going to give it to you for your birthday but seeing you shoot that rooster changed my opinion. Who's your little friend, I didn't see her come in."

"He doesn't know who I am either?" Zelda said getting a little mad.

"Don't worry about it" Malon says to Zelda. "Thanks dad." She says to her father as she deposit the shotgun in her pocket she never had.

You received a new shotgun the blue text box texted.

"Okay?" Malon says confused.

"Where's that thing keep coming from?" Zelda thought to her self. "Oh well let's go." She said turning to Malon.

"Where to? I never saved Hyrule before so I'm kind of new at this" Malon said.

"Me too. My guardian said that the Great Deku Tree lives in the Forrest, along with Saria whom I'm now going to be the shit out of and we'll meet our new companion. So we'll go there." Zelda says.

"Okay"

After saying good bye to her father… I said after saying good-bye to her father… Malon! "Oh I'm sorry, bye dad" and her father saying good-bye back to her. "Bye Malon" Malon and Zelda set on there way too Kokira (I think that's how you spell it) Forrest. Talon looks at the text box that's still sitting there with the same message, scratches his head, and goes back into the barn.

* * *

Thanks for reading! 


	3. Sarias turn

**A/N: **Yes I revised this one too. This chapter is really short though.

**Disclaimer:** Yup, and she still doesn't own it.

* * *

_**We Need Link Back**_

_**Chapter 3: Saria's Turn**_

_**By: Princess Ayame**_

In a wooden house, in a little forest, lived a girl named Saria. Saria had a fairy, named Fairy. Fairy buzzed around Saria trying to wake her up from her deep, deep slumber.

"Saria wake up" Fairy says as she continually buzz around Saria.

After doing this for five minutes or so, Fairy put on her big thick glasses and pulled out a book in titled: How To Wake Up A Sleeping Kokira At A Very Important Time by Navi, Links fairy.

After reading some of the book, the first thing Fairy did was buzz around Saria screaming "Hey, Hey, Listen!" But after seeing that that didn't work Fairy pulled out The All Powerful,

All mighty,

Unstoppable,

Shiniest,

Coolest,

Feather.

With the mighty feather, Fairy tickled Saria's little feet till she woke up.

"Okay, Okay" Saria laughed, "I'm up, what's the big deal?" She asked

"Hyrule is in Danger" Fairy said.

"Um yeah, I know, that's why Link's gone"

"Yeah but something happen to Link, the Great Deku Tree will explain. Now come on we have to go"

"Why me"

"Because The Great Deku tree "Summoned" you"

"Okay then lets go"

"Really you're just going to go"

"Yeah"

"You're not going to throw a book at me and tell me to get a life?"

"Not this time"

"Okay then" Fairy says relieved. "Lets go"


	4. Meeting Mido

**A/N:** Take a good guess of what I did to this chapter… That's right I revised it.

**Disclaimer:** No matter how many times she revises this story, she'll never own Zelda.

* * *

**_We Need Link Back_**

_**Chapter 4: Meeting Mido**_

_**By: Princess Ayame**_

Zelda and Malon walked across the bridge leading into the forest. They had no idea that they entered Kokira because they were too busy walking and talking.

"Back at the ranch, when you shot the rooster, what was that all about?" Zelda asked.

"I got tired of those damn things waking me up every morning. It's really irritating. So this morning I woke up thirty minutes or so earlier before one of the rooster's crow. I then loaded my shotgun and pointed at the rooster pin because I didn't know which one of them was going to crow. So one of roosters crowed and as you saw I shot it and it died."

"Have you ever considered just killing all the roosters with a bomb or something?"

"No but I'll keep that in mind."

"Anyways, what else did Saria say about me?"

"Lots of things like poser, frog breath and of course hired hooker. Shall I go on?"

"Is that all?" Zelda asked mad as hell.

"No, I'm madder than that" Zelda says to the narrator,

"Well fine have it your way," I say back to Zelda.

Zelda asked madder than hell. "There happy now" I said after I revised the sentence. "It's not like I wrote it" I say to my self.

"Thank you" Zelda says to me.

"Zelda please stop talking to the narrator" Malon says, "It's weird."

"Sorry"

"Anyways, Saria said that you were a:

Retarded broad,

Stupid blonde,

Wannabe Cinderella…"

As the list went Zelda angriness level was building. It was only a matter of time before she busted with an evil threat. Almost time… just wait a little longer… any time now… Okay she bust.

" I'LL KILL SARIA!"

"You'll kill who?" asked a Kokira.

"Hey, looks like we entered the forest, " Malon just now figured out. Then she turned to the Kokira to answer his question. "She said she would kill Saria. Who are you?"

"I am the Great Mido, leader of the Kokira," The Great Mido said. " What business do you have with Saria?"

"She called me mean and nasty names. So I'm pissed' Zelda complains.

"So what. Saria's beautiful with hair as green as grass and skin as soft as a baby's butt…"

"Well at least we know what she looks like" Zelda says as Mido continues to talk about Saria.

" Yeah lucky us. We now know she has skin soft as a baby's butt. How long do you think he can go on?" Malon asked as she stared at Mido.

"Either till Saria comes or the author makes him shut up" Zelda answers.

"Or maybe somebody can knock him" Malon hinted.

POW!

Soon enough Zelda punches Mido in the face. All the Kokira look for a second then continue on with their daily activities not caring about what happen to Mido.

"Well that took care of it" Malon says as she looks down at Mido. "Lets go find Saria"

The girls happily walked off looking for Saria.


	5. Saria, the crying princess and the Great...

_**A/N:** _I revise this one too, but not neatley as much as the other chapters.

**_All-purpose Disclaimer:_** If thestory belong to the author she would be filthy richright now.But it doesn't. I don't even thinkNintendo completley owns it. Unless they own that stupid Zelda cartoon on yahoolagians.

* * *

Chapter 5: Saria, the crying princess, and the Great Deku sprout?

Malon and Zelda ventured around the forest, for like an hour,till they came upon a small house. There Zelda saw a sign that said "House of the wonderful Saria, stay away. Love Saria."

"Well, well. Well, look what we have here" said Zelda, somebody's in for it now.

"Zelda, we have passed this house four times already and now you're just noticing its Saria's?" questioned Malon

"Okay your point exactly is..."

"If you weren't busy talking about your stupid princess fantasies then we would have been on our way by now, but no we have hear about how big and pink your room is."

As the two girls argued, Saria stepped out of her house and look at them. _What a bunch of idiots she thought._ "Saria, we must stop by the great Deku tree first" ordered her fairy. "Sure whatever" responded Saria and she started walking toward the great Deku tree. Malon saw Saria and tried to tell Zelda but she was two busy yelling at her.

"I don't know who you think you are but my big pink room is very important to me and …" Zelda talking non-stop

"Yes I understand that now but…" Malon trying to explain that she saw Saria

"And the pretty pink flowers and…

"I get it but…

"And the big…

Finally being tired of Zelda's "chick chat"Malon slapped in her face, putting a halt to Zelda's talk, and said as calmly as she possibly could "I don't care about your pink room or your pink flowers cause I just Saria walk right by us going in that direction". Zelda turned her head and in distance she could see a girl with short green hair and a green tunic.

"Why didn't you say so let's go, Oh and if you ever hit me like that again I'll kill you" threaten Zelda.

"I'm really scared" Malon said sarcastically.

"What was that" asked Zelda.

"Nothing " responded Malon.

Saria stopped and buckled her shoe giving Zelda and Malon the advantage to catch up to her. As soon as Saria got up, POW! Zelda punched the shit out her and started calling her "mean and nasty names" (AN: got that one from stitch the movie).

"Now what Bitch gets up I'm not down yet" said Zelda as she got in her funny martial arts stance. "What the hell is that?" asked Malon as she stared at Zelda's stance. "I call it Zel-fu, you know like kung fu but better, like it?" asked Zelda. "Zelda, you look like a cat with something stuck up your butt" Malon laughed.

Saria finally got up, but by then almost all the Korkira were watching to see what would happen next. She was getting ready to hit Zelda back. But as she aimed…"hey, listen" her stupid fairy started to talk. Zelda and Malon were still talking about the Zel-fu thing and paid no attention to what was going on. "Attacking Zelda wouldn't do her any harm but her weakness is wetting her with a squirt gun" the fairy stated.

So after hearing that Saria pulled out a water gun she loan from the author and started shooting Zelda. Zelda, finally noticing how wet she wasjust stood there for a second then began to cry. "Oh my goddesses, would you SHUT THE HELL UP!" screamed Malon. Noticing that she wasn't going to stop no matter what happen, Malon pulled a long piece of rope out her pocket that she never had, tied to Zelda's foot and went up to Saria and ask her, " Do you know where to find a huge talking tree?" "Yeah just follow me; I'm going to talk to him anyways. Malon, Saria, and the crying princessZelda headed to see the great deku tree.

The soon arrived in the valley were the great tree stood. But as anyone can tell, the great tree was dead. "Okay, don't tell me I wake up early in the morning, travel down all the way to this forest, deal with a crying princess just to find a dead tree?" questioned the obviously ticked Malon." Last time I was here it was a live" Saria said.All of sudden the great deku tree sprout comes out of the ground.

"Sorry I'm late, overslept" said the sprout.

"No, no, my father said there was a tree who sent me on this quest not a gay ass sprout" Malon complain.

"Same here" Zelda cried but nobody understood her under horrible whining.

"Hey lady, do you think anybody would have come if I said I was a "gay ass" deku sprout" replied the sprout.

"Good point" Malon said

"Whatever lets just get down to business" said the annoyed Saria.

"Would somebody please shut her up?" asked Malon she pointed to the nonstop crying Zelda.

"Who would have none thata water gunwould actually get to her that badly" thought Saria

"Play "Zelda's lullaby" to make her stop crying" said the sprout.

"Yeah but none of us no it accept for the crying broad" complain Saria

"I know it, she kept telling me about it when she was telling me about how she sleeps comfortable in her bed without a boy" Malon stated "But I need a flute"

"I have one" Saria said as she pulled out an ocarina that every one keeps confusing it to be a flute. Which is pretty weird because flutes weren't invented then? Strange, how do they no what they are?

"That's an ocarina" said the sprout but nobody paid any attention to him. The author of this story knows this and she doesn't even no why she put it in the story. I don't know either cause I'm just the narrator.

Malon begin to play Zelda's lullaby on the flute/ocarina and just as they wished Zelda stopped crying but something even worse happen.

* * *

**_A/N:_** you like? If you want to watch that Zelda cartoon the Disclaimor mention then check my profile and the website is there. 


	6. Explanations and Travel

**A/N:** Yay, chapter six! I finally got this chapter up. If you haven't read the revised chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 you should. Anyways enjoy reading this one. Oh and sorry I lost the disclaimer.

**Note:** The temple of time is not in Egypt.

* * *

_**We Need Link Back**_

_**Chapter 6: Explanations and Travel**_

_**By: Princess Ayame**_

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me"

"Maybe I shouldn't have shot her with the water gun"

"Maybe I shouldn't have played Zelda's lullaby."

The results showed after playing Zelda's lullaby Zelda not only stop crying but she also fell asleep. And she snored… Loud!

"What did you guys expect when you played the lullaby" the sprout said, "that's what lullaby's do, they put you to sleep."

"It's my stupid fairy's fault. It was her idea" Saria said as she gave her fairy a death stare.

"That's okay I have an idea." Malon said as she digs in her dress and pulls out a megaton hammer.

"Cool where you get that?" Saria asked.

"The author of course" Malon responded.

Malon held the megaton hammer next to Zelda. She then lifted it all the way behind her back and SLAMED it back down letting out a very loud noise from the hammer and from Zelda her self. Then she gave the hammer back to the author.

In Kokira Village 

"Oh my god it's an earth quake" the Kokira's screamed as they ran around the city hopelessly. The disclaimer and author run around as if they were lost. The author sees the disclaimer and catches him. But this has nothing to do with the actual story.

Back to the The Great Deku Tree Valley 

"What did you do that for?" Zelda asked as she cleaned her ears out.

"You were sleeping, then you started snoring very loud," Malon said. " And it was annoying.

"Yeah besides we have business to handle," Saria said.

"Oh I'll show you business," Zelda said as she cracked her knuckles.

"Here comes round two" Malon said as she sat down.

"Girls, please, STOP!" the sprout shouted. " We have things to do."

"Whatever," Saria said as she lowered her fist, "She's a waste of my time anyways."

"Now everybody sit down and listen," the sprout demanded. "And for goddesses sake stop arguing."

Everybody sat down and listened even the author, the disclaimer and me. And for goddesses sake we stopped arguing.

"Now you're all probably wandering why you're here"

"Let me guess, we have to help save Hyrule?" Zelda guessed.

"Duh" Saria said.

"Very good Zelda" the sprout said. Zelda sticks her tongue out at Saria.

"Look just get down to the point" Malon said bored.

"Well as you all know are hero, Link, went to go save Hyrule. Well after achieving all the stones he went to the temple of time. And he tried to pull out the master sword and Ganondorf showed up distracting him. So he pulled out the sword but went a little more further in time than seven years."

"What did do you mean he went a little more further?" Saria asked.

Link, in the year 2000 in Egypt 

"Where the hell am I?" Link said to him self. "I'm definitely not in Hyrule anymore. And why do I look as if I'm seven years older."

"Lets start from the beginning we were trying to pull out the master sword…

"You mean I was trying to pull out the master sword"

" Okay fine you were trying to pull out the master sword and Ganondorf came and said something to us and we end up here. Maybe we just went to far in to time," Navi said.

"So how do we get out of here than?"

"That… I haven't quite figure out yet"

Link walked around observing the new place and finds a pyramid. He walks inside and sees little pictures carved in to the wall. The pictures showed a little guy with a sword fighting a dinosaur looking thing.

"Hey that's the same thing I drew on my tree house" Link said to himself.

"Yup, the same terrible art work. Navi thought to her self. "I think we are a lot more further in time than I think we are," she said to Link.

"You think they have flying horses yet?"

"Maybe"

Link looks over a little bit and sees three girls helping the little guy kill the dinosaur looking thing. One with a figure that looked like a shotgun, the other a slingshot and the other look as it was running around as if she was lost. Being a little freaked out he walked out the pyramid and went to the one next to it. But this one looked more like a temple. There was a sign that read: the ancient Temple of Time. Beware for weird things happen in this temple. Then the author runs out chasing the disclaimer with the megaton hammer.

"Hey, the Temple of time."

"Hmm that's weird"

Back to the The Great Deku Tree Valley 

"It means he could have gone in eight years or more in to time." The sprout explained. "So that's why it's up to you guys to save Hyrule. And the first thing you guys have to do is collect all seven medallions from all seven temples through out Hyrule."

"I didn't even know we had seven temples in Hyrule" Zelda said.

"Yeah and you're the princess" Saria said.

"You think they have flying horses where he is?" Zelda asked after giving Saria an evil glare.

"Beats me," the Deku sprout said.

"So when do we start?" asked Malon.

"As soon as possible" the sprout said. "The first temple you need to go to is the forest temple."

"I know where that is, I go there all the time," Saria said. "Follow me"

The girls follow Saria out the valley and into the Lost woods. The Lost Woods was field of creepy crawlies and of course skull kids. They have now been walking for like forever and kept ending up at the same place they started at.

"I know where that is, I go there all the time," Zelda said mimicking Saria. "We have been walking for like forever." She complained.

"Shut up its just a little confusing," Saria said defending herself.

"Actually it's not, your just stupid" Malon said.

"I don't see you leading."

"Well it's not that difficult. If we keep going through the same tunnel we'll end up in the same area. So lets just take a different tunnel, duh."

"Or we can just ask for directions from that thing over there" Zelda suggested as she pointed at a skull kid.

"Okay" Malon said as she walks up to the skull kid. " Hi, I'm Malon."

"Hi, I'm Skull Kid." Skull kid said.

"Do you know where we are?"

"Yup, your lost in the Lost woods" Skull kid said to her.

"Don't be a smartass. Can you help us get to the Forest Temple?" she asked.

"Nope" he responded back. Then Malon pulled her shotgun and loaded. "Follow me," he said after looking at the shotgun.

"Now I remember where we're supposed to go," Saria said.

"Too late I have a new friend he's going to show us where to go right?" Malon asked Skull kid.

"Yeah sure, whatever" Skull kid replied.

"Yeah but he's a skull kid." Saria said.

"You have something against Skull kids?" Skull kid asked.

"No, but that's how you turn into a skull kid you get lost in the lost woods" Saria said back to him.

"So you mean if we would have got lost in here we would have been Skull kids?" Malon asked getting a little mad.

"Hey listen we must go to the forest temple to get the forest medallion." Fairy stated.

"No dip Sherlock" Saria replied back to her.

"Anybody else here that cool music or is it just me?" Zelda asked.

"Yeah, I here it to" Malon said. "It is pretty cool."

"Thinks I made it myself. Now the spirits of the forest play it." Saria happily said.

"Actually it's the skull kids who now play it now. There are no spirits in the forest.

"Oh well I still made it"

"I hate it" Zelda quickly changes.

Skull kid led them through the forest to the maze. From there he took them to the stairs where there was a Deku scrub waiting for them. The whole time they walked Saria's stupid fairy would shut up.

"Hey listen we must go to the forest temple to get the forest medallion"

"Okay if that thing says something else I'm shooting it" Malon threaten.

"Hey what's that?" Saria asked as she pointed at the Deku scrub.

"Runaway it's a Deku scrub and it shoots Deku nuts!" Skull kid warned as he hid behind a rock.

Malon tried to shoot the scrub but it kept hiding in its hole.

"How do we kill it?" she asked.

"You have to shoot it when it comes out of its hole." Fairy said.

"Okay but every time I get close to it it hides. So I need some bait," Malon said as she looked at Zelda. Zelda tried to runaway but she grabbed her to fast and throw her in front of the scrub. The scrub started shooting Deku nuts at Zelda while Malon was aiming her shotgun at it.

"Help I being attacked by nuts" Zelda screamed while running around in circles.

"I thought that was something your were use too." Saria said.

'SHOT!' Malon shot the Deku scrub.

"Rubies" Saria said as she ran up to where the scrub was.

"Shall we continue" skull kid said as he started walking again.

**Disclaimer:** The author doesn't own anything related to Zelda.

" A little late there don't you think" Malon asked.

"I had other stories to go to okay"

"Sure you did'

"Yeah I found you in Kokira" the author says. "And in Egypt."

" People on fan fiction write stories all over the world."

What ever you say. Review please.


	7. Forrest Temple Part 1

Hi! Thanks for the reviews. Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Extremely busy doing nothing and being lazy. Then there's that god forsaken writers block and the fact that I'm too lazy to do anything on time and, well… a lot of other excuses. Oh and I'm kind of winging the whole forest temple thing so if something isn't right sorry. I don't feel like playing the N64. Too busy playing Final fantasy 10-2 on the Ps2.

**Disclaimer:** Same as the previous chapters.

_**We Need Link Back**_

_**Chapter 7: Forrest Temple part 1 **_

**By: Princess Ayame**

* * *

"Some thing tells me I should teach you guys this song I learned" Skull Kid said as he pulled out his ocarina.

"Is it as corny as Saria's?" Zelda asked.

"Nope"

"Okay"

Skull kid happily plays the minuet of the forest as Zelda happily messes it up.

"Oh my god Zelda you play worst then my dad" Malon teased

"That must be pretty bad" Saria also teased.

"Now as bad as your clothes" Zelda muttered.

"Hey said to my face you patronized princess"

"Do you even know what that word means"? Fairy asked

"No but it sounded good."

"Give me the damn ocarina" Malon said as she snatch it away from Zelda. "Now listen"

Skull Kid again started playing the song and Malon echoed it perfectly. Then as you might as guest the stupid annoying blue text box appears saying: You learned the Minuet of the Forrest use it any time to teleport back to the Forrest temple blah blah blah.

"You know there is something very strange about this text box. It keeps coming up every time we earn something new." Zelda said.

"Yup and I guess we needed a princess to figure that out." Saria said.

"Can't you guys ever just get along?" Malon asked.

"You can't tame a monkey," Zelda said.

"True, but you can kill a princess" Saria said back to her.

"Okay...um moving on." Skull Kid said as he started walking.

They only walked two steps because there was nowhere else to go.

"Okay Einstein where do we go next?" Malon asked a little impatient.

"We need something to hook us up there" Fairy said.

"Oh, I have something" Zelda said as she pulled out a hook shot.

"Where'd you get that?" Malon asked. "The last person who had that died"

"If you must know…

**Flashback Zelda's POV**

I was wondering around the graveyard looking at the graves of those old people who once own Hyrule but did a suckey job at it and died of sucking.

"You know that sounds wrong right" Malon interrupts.

"Hmm must run in the family," Saria said.

Anyways I saw this grave with lots of flowers around it so I decided too pull it back and see what I could dig up. So I find this long tunnel and being the princess that I am I went down to see what I could find. The tunnel was very nasty and everything but I managed to get through. That's when I figured out who's grave I was in.

"You could have just read the tomb stone," Saria said.

ANYWAYS Dampe, the graveyard keeper who died from the lack of sex, was there and he had a shiny thing I wanted. He called it a Hook shot. So guess what I had to do to get it. "Let me guess to get something from a man who died of a lack sex you probably would have to have sex with him, right?" Malon guessed. "That's probably an offer she couldn't refuse" Saria said. Where would you guys get a crazy idea like that from I had to race him. "Oh how obvious" Skull Kid said. So I raced the old hag all the way to the end of the tunnel. Then he gave me the hook shot. After that I play this song called the song of time to move this big blue block out of my way and made my way out of the hole.

**Back to time**

"That wasn't much of a flashback you know" Fairy said to the narrator.

Hey I'm not the one who wrights these stories I just narrate them. Anyways everybody stares at Zelda's Hook Shot.

"Sooo…um… like um… how do like you use it?" Skull Kid asked.

"That's the part I haven't figured out yet." Zelda said.

"Oh you jack ass now what do we do?" Saria asked pissed off.

"Must you people make things so difficult." Malon said as she took the Hook shot from Zelda. She then aimed at a tree vine, pulled the trigger and shot it. "Now was that so hard. Here's another little trick I know." Malon said. She let go of the trigger and pulled her self up to the ledge. "Now you try," she said as she dropped the Hook shot on Skull Kid.

"Ouch" he said rubbing his head.

"Sorry" Malon apologized. Skull Kid then following the procedure shot his way up along with Saria then Zelda.

"Now that we are all here let's go," Malon said as they continued to walk.

All of a sudden two Wolfos approach them.

"Oh my god what are those things!" Zelda screamed.

"Didn't you just here the narrator. There Wolfos you dumb ass." Saria said.

"I thought we were supposed to pretend we didn't here him." Zelda said.

"Talk later fight now" Malon said as she pulled out her shotgun.

"I'll handle this" Skull Kid says stepping in front of Malon unsheathing his sword.

"And exactly how long have you had that sword?" Saria asked.

"Does that matter now"

"Not really, I was just curious"

"Well if it's important to you I had it the whole time but I just forgot I had it."

"Can you go fight now" Malon said frustrated.

"Yeah I'm a little scared." Zelda said.

"A little, you're hanging on to some vines," Saria says staring at her.

"I'm only scared because they look like you."

"Okay I'm going to attack now just in case anybody cares." Skull Kid said.

"I care, go fight." Malon says.

Skull Kid charges into the two Wolfos. Swords were slashing and clashing as the Wolfos and Skull Kid were in battle. As they fought Zelda, who was still afraid to get down off the vines, decided to climb up where she had a battle of her own. There laid a Skulltula. Zelda used the hook shot to kill it. "Wow I should use this more often." Skull Kid's battle was now getting a little boring now. Malon was getting frustrated and Saria was bored as hell.

"Would you kill them already!" Malon yelled.

"I'm working on it!" Skull Kid yelled back to her.

"Well you've been working on it for the past thirty minutes." Saria added.

Skull Kid ignored the comment and started to focus back on his fight. Zelda on the other hand found a brown chest. She kicked the chest open and finds a key. She takes the key and makes her way back down the vines. Malon was getting even more frustrated about Skull Kids battle with the Wolfos. And Saria was just…well… bored.

"Okay this has taken long enough" Malon said as she pulls her shut gun out and shots the Wolfos.

"You should have done that in the beginning" Saria says.

"I could have handled it" Skull Kid pouted. Zelda then jumps down off the vines and runs up to the rest of the party.

"I got a key, I don't know what it's for but I got it" Zelda happily said.

"Hey look guys the princess finally makes her self useful" Saria teased.

"Sure did, something the forest whore couldn't handle." Zelda teased back. "Anyways I also killed a spider all by my self."

"Who would have known she was capable of killing anything." Saria said.

"I'm capable of killing you" Zelda said back to her.

"That'll be a site," Skull Kid added.

"Can we kill each other later and go into the… Zelda what the hell are you doing?" Malon asked.

"What? You wanna clip my toe nails for me?"

Ignoring Zelda's disturbing actions Malon and the rest of the gang continued into the temple. As they entered the temple they saw four ugly Poes playing with fire. When the four Poes notice them they took there flames going into four different directions.

"What the hell?" Saria said confuse.

"They are Poe sisters. If we kill one, one the torches in the main room will light up depending on which color Poe we kill. When all flames are lid up we will go fight our real battle." Fairy stated in her fairy way.

"Are they related to Edgar Allen Poe?" Zelda asked.

"No you dumb ass they are ghost" Fairy said

"They doesn't mean anything. Edgar could be a ghost. I mean after all he did write creepy poems and stuff.

"You are so stupid"

"How do you know so much about this poes sister stuff?" Malon asked suspicious of the fairy's knowledge.

"Strategy guide, same place where I get all of other information. I'm not like Navi you know"

"So which way first?" Skull Kid asked looking around the Temple.

"I'm surprised you stayed with us this far," Zelda said.

'Like I have anything better to do"

"How about that way" Saria pointed.

"Whatever come on everybody." Malon said leading the way.

They went in to through a door and entered a hallway. Then they are flaming skull ambushes them.

"Oh no we are doing this the short way" Malon says stopping Skull Kid from unsheathing his sword. She aimed her shotgun at the Skull and killed with a couple of shots it. Saria collected the rubies and they moved on.

"Dose that thing ever run out of ammo." Zelda thought to herself.

They now enter a room with two stalfos.

"I don't think I can kill these guys off with my shotgun. Looks like you're up Skull buddy." Malon says to Skull kid.

"No problem" Skull Kid said unsheathing his sword.

"Just make it quick" Saria said as she sat down.

Skull Kid charged into one of the Stalfos with all his might attacking and avoiding slashes from the other Stalfoe. Finally gaining the upper hand Skull Kid cut one of the Stalfoe into pieces, did a back flip and killed the other one.

"Sweet" Malon complimented.

"Totally" Zelda said also complimenting.

"How come you couldn't kill the Wolfos like that?" Saria said ruining the moment.

"I guess that's what she's good for" Zelda said referring to the narrators comment. A key then appeared in the middle of the room. Zelda ran up to it and took it. I got another one," she announced.

"I guess they might actual be useful lets get out here" Malon said and they all left the room and made there way back to the main room. They then enter a nearby tunnel. There was a big blue block blocking my way.

"I've seen this block before" Zelda thought to herself.

Malon tried shooting. "Well shooting it isn't going to work."

"Hey listen you have to play the Song of Time" Fairy stated in her fairy way.

"The song of whose time?" Saria asked

"Good question" Skull kid added.

"You jackasses the song is called the song of time," Malon said.

"Yeah but it could be anybody's time" Saria said.

"I remember now," Zelda said pulling out her ocarina and playing the song of time. Then the block magically disappeared revealing a brown wooden door.

"Wow how'd you do that?" Skull Kid asked amazed.

"She played the song of time, what do you thing she did dummy?" Malon asked.

"I thought she did some telepathical power that came from a parallel universe to move the box into a different dimension or time." Skull Kid said sounding like a high school nerd.

"Well in that case where do you think it went?"

**Now to Link and Navi**

After analyzing the temple of time Link and Navi decided to enter it. But sadly a big blue block falls on Link.

"Um Navi a little help"

"This is going to take a while"

**Back to our hero's**

"Who knows" Skull Kid says.

The group walked through the door and sees a wall. But there were two skulltulas on it. Everybody then looked at Malon. Getting the signal she pulled out her shotgun and killed the spiders then they made there way up the wall. Then they went through a small alcove and went through a door where they found another flaming skull with blue flame. Once again everybody looked at Malon and she killed the skull with her gun. But this time a there was a big treasure box in the room.

"I wanna open it" Zelda said jumpy.

"Back off bitch this ones mine." Saria said.

"Oh no it's not" Zelda says as she jumps on Saria and they go into a girl fight. Malon, Fairy, and Skull Kid went up to the treasure chest.

"You wanna do the honors" Malon asked Skull Kid.

"Don't mind if I do" Skull Kid said as he open the chest. Some corny music plays and the blue text box appear telling them what they received.

"Oh yeah that something to be fighting over" Skull Kid said looking down into the chest.

"Yeah we should all kill each other over this" Malon said also looking at the item.

"Hey listen" Fairy said too the two fighting girls. "You guys are fighting over a piece of shit"

Zelda and Saria ran up to the chest to find nothing but a raggedy ass map and a chicken bone the author left in there.

"Let's go" Saria said picking up the map.

The party went through a nearby door. As they left the room Zelda looked back at the chest. The little blue text box was still there. She shrugged her shoulders and caught up with the rest of the group. In the other room there was a white target.

"That target's for the hook shot" Fairy stated in her fairy way.

"No dip Detective Holmes" Malon insulted. "Okay everyone hang on." Malon said as everybody got a hold of the hook shot. Malon let go of trigger and everybody went flying in to the wall.

"That hurts" Skull Kid moaned rubbing his nose. Zelda with out thinking pressed a switch right next to them. The switch drained the well below them but there was still some water left.

"Maybe we should jump" Saria said looking down.

"It's the only thing we can do" Malon said as Skull Kid jumped off the ledge. " Just make sure you hit the water"

"Should have told Skull Kid that," Saria said looking down at Skull Kid.

"I don't like water" Zelda said to Malon frightened.

"Don't worry you won't hit the water" Saria said as she push Zelda off the ledge. As she did so she tripped and fell on Zelda who was on Skull Kid. Neither of them hit water.

"Idiots" and with that Malon jumped off the ledge and happily hit the water.

"When I say hit the water," Malon said swimming to shore. "That means hit the water"

"I would've if Saria won't have pushed me," Zelda said still aching in pain.

"I did you a favor," Saria said also in pain. "You said you didn't like water."

"I don't see why you guys are so hurt" Skull Kid said in the worst pain. " You both fell on me"

"Hey listen there something at the end of the tunnel lets go" Fairy stated in her fairy way.

"Do you always have to state things in your fairy way" Zelda asked.

"Yup"

"Moving on" Malon said as she begin to make her way down the tunnel. At the end of the tunnel there was nothing but a small treasure box and vines leading to the top.

"You can open it Skull Kid" Saria said. Skull kid opened the chest and found another small key.

"I get my ass smashed for this" Zelda said now mad.

"Lets just get out of here" Malon said climbing the vines out of the well. The rest of the gang followed her. They then made there way back to the main room.

"Where to next?" Zelda asked.

"You'll find out in the next chapter," Malon said.

"Oh okay" Zelda said. "When's the next chapter going to be here?"

"The next chapter will be here as soon as the author gets her lazy butt off the couch and writes it or in this case types it"

"So what do we do now?" Saria asked.

"Yeah are we supposed to do in-between chapters?" Skull Kid asked.

"We wait for the author to write the next chapter," Malon said starting to get frustrated.

"So we just sit here in the forest temple waiting patiently?" Zelda asked

"YES!"

"Okay"

* * *

I hope you enjoyed the story so now you can review. :) 


	8. Forrest Temple Part 2

Thanks for reviewing blah blah blah now read. If you are an anonymous reviewer and would like me too tell you when I update my stories then tell me and I'll email you or whatever.

**Disclaimer: **The author doesn't own because she's a loser.

_**We Need A Link Back**_

_**Chapter 7: Forrest Temple Part 2**_

By: Princess Ayame 

About time you updated you crazy, lazy Author, I say to the Author.

"I didn't see you helping me with the writers block"

"I'm a little tired of waiting in between chapters," Zelda complained.

"Why, we've sitting in-between chapters for the past six and a part chapters." Malon pointed out. "You would thank somebody be use to it by now"

"Can you guys hold your little discussion for the end of the story?" Saria asked the Author and Narrator.

Sure we'll finish the conversation later. After waiting in between chapters for at least forever. "That made no sense" Zelda interrupted. Can I do my job here? Anyways after waiting they now set back on my there quest to save Hyrule.

"Hey there's a locked door over there," Fairy stated in her fairy way.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious…again" Malon said.

"Too the door we go" Skull Kid said. He unlocked the door and they went in with a surprise waiting for them.

"Skullutula!" Zelda screams.

"Oh what a surprise" Malon said sarcastically. "Any volunteers to kill it?"

"I'll do it. Pick me, Pick Me," the author says entering the hallway.

"Any volunteers who are a part of the story?" Malon says as the Author sadly leaves the room. The room was suddenly silent with the spider getting very impatient. So he…. pulls out… a book.

"I can't kill every thing around here you know" Malon complained.

"Yeah but I don't feel like" Skull Kid also complained.

"You don't have to the spider seems to be occupied at the moment" Saria said staring at the spider reading a book.

"Maybe we could sneak around it" Zelda said.

"You little retard his ass is blocking the whole hallway" Saria said.

"Maybe if we ask him he'll let us go by," Skull Kid said.

"You have to be joking right?" Malon said.

"No really why don't we just ask him"

"Fine then you ask him"

" Alright I will" and with that skull kid walked up to the spider and said "Hello Mr. Spider, may we get by you to continue are quest?"

"Okay this book is getting really good anyway."

"Really? What's it called?"

"Majora's mask"

"I've heard of that. I'll have to read it"

"I'll let you borrow it sometime" with that the spider let them by.

"Okay then, thanks"

"What was that all about?" Malon asked.

"It's a forest thing" Skull Kid replied.

They enter the room. They look at the blocks.

Five minutes later…

"Push the damn block Zelda it isn't that heavy" Saria complain.

"Yeah it is, I'm gonna break a nail" Zelda whined.

"For goddesses sake, move" Malon said pushing Zelda out the way. Then she simply moved the block. "There was that so hard?"

"Do you honestly want me to answer that question?" Zelda asked.

"No"

"According to my calculations her answer would most likely was going to be no" Skull Kid calculated.

"Oh shut up!" Malon said.

"I was just calculating"

After they persistently push the blocks around, climb some ladders, unlock a door and teased the author non-stop they ended up at a twisted hallway or corridor whatever.

"Man, after we persistently push the blocks around, climb some ladders, unlock a door and teased the author non-stop, we ended up at a twisted hallway" Skull Kid repeated after me.

"You mean corridor?" Saria pointed out.

"What ever"

"It's kind of strange that the hallway is twisted" Zelda said.

"Gee, Zelda, thinks for noticing the obvious" Malon said.

"Oh anytime glad to help"

The crew walked down the twisted hallway-

"Corridor" Saria interrupt.

Whatever. They walked down the twisted "Corridor" and ended up at another locked door. Well just like any other person would do they opened it. Now they ended up in a room with a Stalfo and a big hole in the middle. The Stalfo jumped in the hole, but instead of falling through it, the Stalfo walked on it like it was just another part of the floor.

"Charge" Skull Kid shouted, charging into the Stalfo. Well unlike the Stalfo Skull Kid couldn't walk on the hole so he fell.

Malon sighed, " Should have saw that coming"

"We can't blame the guy for trying" Zelda said.

"So any volunteers to take out this monster?" Malon asked.

Silence covered the room.

"Well let's not all answer at once"

Silence, once again, filled the room.

"Sometimes I wonder why I even ask."

**Link and Navi**

Navi stared at the block wondering what to do. She was too small to lift it and she didn't have any hands to dig him up. So she just sat there staring at the big blue rock.

"Navi, you have to play the song of time," Link mumbled beneath the rock.

"Hey how do you know what the song of time is, you haven't even learned it"

"Dammit Navi just do it"

"Okay" Navi said as she begin to fly off. Then she flew back.

"Link, I don't have any hands"

Back to our so called Hero's 

You could have figured Malon end up fighting the Stalfo since her other companions wouldn't do it. Accept for Skull Kid, which they found on the other side of door.

"Hey how'd you get here before us?" Malon asked.

"Why's that matter now, look what I found?" Skull Kid said pulling out the fairy bow. "I had a little encounter with the blue text box but nevertheless I have this contraption."

"Wow!" Saria exclaimed.

"Pretty" Zelda followed.

Then ruining the happy moment Malon said, " It's stupid, I already have the shot gun."

"Well I don't want it" Skull Kid said. "I have a sword."

"I'll take it" Saria said reaching for it.

"Wait, how could you assume that I didn't want it" Zelda said.

" Zelda even if you had it you be too afraid to use it." Malon said.

"Good point"

"Hey that picture has a ghost in it" Skull Kid.

"Shoot it with your bow" Fairy stated in her fairy way.

"Okay" Saria said aiming at the picture. Luckily she hit and the picture disappeared. But the ghost kept going into pictures and Saria kept shooting them until they got downstairs and they're no more for it to hide in. Then it was time for one on one combat.

"Don't worry I'll take it out" Saria said confident with her new bow.

"Oh now that she gets a new weapon she wants to fight." Malon said.

"You will never destroy me," the Poe said. "I am the greatest Hahaha"

"Hahaha my ass" Saria shot the Poe and it shivered up and died.

"Good job, lets move" Malon and the group walked into the next area.

"Oh yeah did I mention that I had the boss Key" Skull Kid said showing them the key.

"When did you get it?" Saria asked.

"Must have been when he fell through the hole," Zelda said.

The gang went into different room saw a different Poe in a different picture. The Poe talked the same smack and Saria killed with the same strategy and they continued to walk in the same style…. until they all fell through a hole.

"Should have saw that coming" Malon said aching in pain.

"Yeah usually Skull Kid is the one who falls in holes like this" Saria added.

"Not all the time" Skull kid said. Every body stared at Skull Kid." Okay maybe I do"

"Pretty picture, shoot it Saria" Malon said. Saria pulled out the bow and shot the picture. A big block came out and fell on Skull Kid.

"You know I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the guy," Zelda said feeling some sympathy for the skull kid.

"Put the pieces together, it's like a puzzle." Fairy stated in her fairy way.

"Is there any other way you can state things?" Malon asked.

"I don't know. I'll try to next time," Fairy said in her fairy way.

The company simply put the blocks of the puzzle together and found Skull Kid after the block disappeared. As Malon and Zelda helped him up Saria fought the Poe.

To our real hero's 

"Thanks Navi" Link said dusting his self off. "How'd you get the block off?"

"Well I hired this guy right here to revive an ancient chicken to lift up the block" Navi said.

"Really that's str-

Link was cut off by another block falling on him. This block had a description of a Poe on it. You can probably guess where that came from?

Navi turned to the chicken riser. "You think you can get that chicken again?"

Returning to our fake hero's… 

Having nowhere else to go our fake hero's "We are not fake, we're just filling in" Malon said. Yeah, right, what ever, our filling in heroes went back to the main room to rethink things. That's were they found their next challenge.

"Look another Poe" The happy Skull Kid. All of sudden Saria just disappeared. "Did I say something wrong?"

"I thought she'd never leave" Zelda said.

"I wish she wouldn't have left, how our we supposed to kill this thing?" Malon asked.

"Did I mention I have the boss key?" Skull Kid said.

"Shut up Skull Kid" Malon said. "We don't have time for your stupidity"

Skull Kid's feelings were badly hurt. Feeling he wasn't needed, he threw the boss key and began to go towards the exit. The boss key, however, hit the Poe and she died.

"Good job SK" Zelda said. "You killed the Poe"

"And made an Elevator all at the same time" Malon said watching the elevator move.

"Thanks" Skull Kid said happily returning to his crew.

"Well let's go" Zelda said picking up the boss key.

"Shouldn't we try to find Saria first?" Skull Kid asked.

"I'm pretty sure she'll show up sooner or later," Malon said.

They went on the elevator leading them in too a different room.

"Ye must turn thy dial, to find thee passage," Fairy stated in her Quakeress way.

"Nope didn't like that very much either" Malon said.

"Yeah you talk like the bible," Skull Kid said.

"Ye did not like thy talk?" Fairy asked in her Quakeress way.

"Cut it out dumb ass" Zelda said.

"Fine"

Skull kid turns the dial and first they found the author continuously running in to the wall. He turned it again and found the disclaimer disclaiming somebody else's story. Then he finally turned it, finding the boss door.

"Wow I found the boss door I wonder how we unlock it" Skull Kid thought.

"Yeah me too" Zelda said starring at the boss key.

Malon stared at them annoyed. "Fairy please tell them what to do"

"Sorry Malon I'm lost too," Fairy said. "This has to be the hardest thing yet"

"Okay you have the boss key and you have the boss door which is locked so it needs a key." Malon said hoping they catch on.

"You think we forgot to get a another key," Skull Kid said eyeing the door.

"Oh come on the Author even has it underlined for you" Malon said really hoping they catch on.

"Yeah I knew they would need it," The author said. "Lets hope it works"

Fairy, SK and Saria stared at Malon hoping for an answer. Malon, who was now annoyed as ever, snatch the boss key from Saria and opened the door. She mumbled some things under her breath as she entered the room.

"Some times I think she's Albert Einstein's daughter" Zelda said to Skull Kid as they both followed behind her.

"Shut up, Zelda!" Malon yelled.

"What I do?"

They walked into the room, Phantom Gannon appears, the author screams and runs into a wall putting herself into a comma, the phantom stares at her, and every one else prepares to fight.

"Yo, G, first ya have ta pop a cap in his ass with da gun and then ya cut him up" Fairy stated in her gangster way. " Ya know what I'm sayin?"

"No" Skull Kid said staring at the fairy.

"Fairy please pick another one" Malon begged.

"What's up with the du rag and chain?" Zelda asked looking at the fairy's appearance.

"I was trying to be a little creative," Fairy said.

"AHHHHHHHHHH" Skull Kid screamed as the phantom attacked him. Malon shot him down, Zelda screamed and Skull Kid ran around in circles. The Phantom regaining his strength attacks again, coincidently hitting Skull Kid again. Malon shot him down, Zelda screamed and Skull Kid ran around in Circles. After losing his hearing thanks to Zelda, going blind watching Skull Kid run, and bleeding from Malon's shot gun, the phantom finally died. A big blue light appeared in the middle of the room. They walked in to the light. The gang now is in a room with a bunch of different medallions on the floor. On the green one Saria appeared.

"Oh hey guys where ya been?"

"Get your ass over here" Malon said still frustrated from earlier. "Where have you been?"

"Well the Poe teleported me in to this room with this huge phantom but I was too scared to fight it by myself so then this fat guy took me and brought me in here. He was saying something about a sage's power being added into a hero for a medallion or something like that. I think he was talking about this thing right here." Saria explained pulling out the medallion.

"What ever lets go," Malon said.

"How do we leave?" Zelda asked.

"Want a clue it's the end of the chapter"

"Okay so what?" Saria said.

Fairy rested on Saria's head. "Here we go," she mumbled. "This is going to take a while."

"Don't we sit here in between chapters till the author decides to update?" Skull Kid asked.

"Good Job SK" Malon said.

Review I say as I watch the Author wake up from her comma and disclaimer beat the mess out of her. I jump in wanting to beat up the Author like I said at the beginning of the chapter. But now it's the end of the chapter so I'm going to shut up so I can beat up the author like I said I was in the beginning of the chapter but now it's the end…


	9. Kaepora Gaepora and Chicken Risers

Because of broken bones, pen pals, and a hot-dog being stuck down in his throat…. The disclaimer will not be disclaiming things for the following chapter.

"So if the disclaimer is not disclaiming things, that means he can't disclaim my story, meaning I own Zelda hahahah," The Author says evilly.

Oh did I mention that Zelda and all related material belong to Nintendo and not the Author?

"Dammit"

* * *

_**We need Link back**_

_**Chapter 9: Kaepora Gaepora and chicken Risers**_

_**By: Princess Ayame**_

After leaving the forest temple, our hero's travel through Hyrule field…. until they ran into a little visitor…

"I am Kaepora Gaepora!" Kaepora Gaepora said.

"I am Skull kid!" skull kid said.

"You are stupid" Malon said.

"So what do you want?" Zelda asked.

"I am here to tell you that the fire temple is in Death Mountain. Do I need to repeat my self?" Kaepora asked.

"No we got it, thanks." Malon said.

"Okay, I am here to tell you that the fire temple is in Death Mountain. Do I need to repeat my self?" Kaepora asked.

"We got it, you can go now thanks, okay?" Saria said.

"Okay, I am here to tell you that the fire temple is in Death Mountain. Do I need to repeat my self?" Kaepora asked.

"Would you shut up? We got the message already! "Yelled Zelda.

"Hmmm" Kaepora thought to himself, "You must be Link."

"Do I look like a boy to you" Zelda asked a little P.Oed.

Silence covered the land.

"Well?"

"Anyways, because of some bizarre events in time and Deku trees dying and turning into scrubs, Link isn't here" Saria said.

"Then where is he?" Kaepora asked.

**Egypt **

"Rise chicken!" The chicken riser commanded, but nothing happened.

"Rise chicken!" He repeated, but nothing happen.

"Hmm, chicken not want to come out" The chicken riser said to Navi.

"Then what are we going to do?" Navi panicked.

"We can always get ancient Mongoose," the chicken riser said rubbing his chin.

Navi shook her head (or body since she's just a big ball of light with teeny tiny wings)

"This is hopeless."

**Hyrule field**

"I don't know, somewhere in the deep long future" Saria said.

"WE ARE ALL DOOM! AHHHHHH!" Kaepora panicked and ran into a tree.

…………………..

"oooooooo….kkkkk"

A little map fell out of Kaepora's feathers and Malon, noticing it, went to go pick it up.

"A map of Hyrule" She said to herself.

A little blue text box appeared, but Malon ignored it.

"Think he's dead?" Saria asked, as everyone starred down at Kaepora Gaepora.

"I'm not sure," Zelda said.

Skull Kid went up to the owl and started poking it with a stick. "Yea he's dead".

"We must continue to Kakariko Village to get to the fire temple. That's were are next medallion is." Fairy said.

"Hey isn't that were Death Mountain is?" Zelda asked.

"Duh the owl repeated it like a hundred times" Saria said as Zelda gave her evil stares of death. Spooky.

"Yea we have to climb that first to get to the Fire temple." Fairy said.

"Wait, we are going to climb a mountain called Death Mountain?" Malon said. "Does that bother anybody else?"

Silence came across the group.

"Why do I bother?"

Kaepora Gaepora then wakes up from his unconsciousness.

"uhh, what happen?" he asked.

A little light bulb appeared over Saria's head. Skull Kid took it and examined it, wondering how it got there. Then he put it on top of his head and it turned off.

"Awww" Skull Kid moaned.

"You were just going to take us to the fire temple." Saria said to Kaepora.

"Okay, but I don't quite remember…OW" Kaepora said as the gang jumped on top of him.

"I don't wanna ride a stinking owl," Zelda complained.

"You don't have to" Saria said as she pushed Zelda off Kaepora. Kaepora then took off.

"Hey, wait for me!" yelled Zelda as she grabbed on to Kaepora's leg. But as Kaepora flew Zelda kept crashing into trees and anything else Kaepora flew over.

As they were flying, Malon looked back and saw the text box. She shook her head and enjoyed the ride to Death Mountain.

"Oh I almost forgot" Kaepora said, " I am here to tell you that the fire temple….

* * *

Sorry the chapter was kind of short. The next one will be longer…I hope. Review please! And just incase anybody's wondering, I got that whole chicken thing from Aqua teen huger force, sadly I don't own that either. There are NO chicken risers in Egypt! 


	10. Goron City and the Fire temple

**Disclaimer:** Zelda and all related material belong to the Big N. Anything else besides Zelda (and all the related material to it) belongs to…who ever they belong to.

**A/N:** There is no author note.

* * *

_**We need Link Back**_

_**Chapter 10: Goron City and the Fire Temple**_

_**By: Princess Ayame**_

"Hey watch out!"

!Crash!

Paying no attention to Saria's warning, Kaepora Gaebora crashed into a rock. Everybody groaned in pain as they all tried to rise to there feet.

"We have to find better transportation," Saria said rubbing her head.

"At least were here…. on death mountain…. right in front of Goron city." Malon said.

"So where do we go then?" Saria asked.

"We could go to Goron city" Malon said, "But the Goron don't like me very much"

"How come?" Zelda asked

"Go read chapter two" Malon said to Zelda. "So lets go"

Saria looked down at Kaepora "What about him?"

Every body stared down at the dead looking owl. "I'm pretty sure he'll be fine," Malon said as she began to walk off.

Saria stopped for a second. "Hey where's Sk?"

"Don't worry about him. He couldn't have fallen far. I'm sure he's fine," Malon said as they continued walking.

**Fire Temple**

Skull Kid rubbed his noggin and looked around as his surroundings. One minute he's soaring in the air on an owl, next minute he's being launched into a volcano! Everything seemed to be okay to Skull Kid (ignoring the hot boiling lava). Well everything accept for the HUGE SLEEPING FIRE BREATHING DRAGON!

**To our hero's**

Malon, Saria, and Zelda entered Goron city.

"I wonder where are?" Zelda asked herself.

I just said you guys were in Goron City.

"HEY don't get an attitude, I was just asking myself GOSH!" Zelda said folding her arms.

"We should split up. We'll cover more ground that way" Malon said. "And for goddesses sake don't say anything about chicken gods"

"Gorons go crazy, huh?" Zelda asked.

" You have no idea"

"Me and Malon go this way, you and Fairy go that way." Saria said indicating the direction they should go.

"Fine be me," Malon said as she and Saria began to walk off.

"Hey how come I have to be stuck with the stupid annoying fairy!" Zelda asked.

"Because" Saria yelled back, "You two have a lot in common"

"Really?" Zelda started to examine fairy. "Am I really that blue"

"Are you sure those two would be okay together" Malon asked.

Saria shrugged. "Nope, I was hoping they kill each other off and save as the trouble for the rest of the journey"

"Oh…. okay"

**Fire Temple**

Skull kid quietly walked over the HUGE SLEEPING FIRE BREATHING DRAGON towards a door on the other side of the room. The door was pretty hard to open. So Skull Kid repeatedly tried to thrust the door open, while trying not to wake the HUGE SLEEPING FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. After one final push the door flew open causing Skull kid to fly through the doors into some boiling hot lava. Thanks to the heat applied to his gluteus maximus Skull Kid launched back up to the ledge where the door was. After a few rubs to his injured head and his vision cleared, his eyes widen at the creature staring down at him.

**Zelda, her ego and Fairy**

"I can't believe I got stuck with the stupid fairy" Zelda mumbled to herself. "I'm the freakin princess of Hyrule I should have better treatment then this"

"This way" Fairy said as they went done a tunnel like hallway. "I sense a huge life form"

"Hey I'm the princess! I have super princess sensing abilities!" Zelda yelled.

"Um….okay?" Fairy said not quite understanding Zelda's point.

"I sense a huge life form. I say we go this way" Zelda said.

"I just said that" Fairy said as they went down the tunnel like hallway.

"But it's more believable when I say it"

"HI!" the huge creature roared.

Zelda ran behind Fairy (which was pretty stupid considering the size of the fairy) "Wha-what in the name of Nayru is that?"

Fairy stood there dumbfounded. "The huge life form…"

"I am a Goron," the "huge life form" said. "I'm a blacksmith who makes swords"

Zelda's eyes widened in joy " Like that big one right there?"

"Yes. That's the big Goron sword. It's one of my best works…. HEY GIVE THAT BACK!" The Goron demanded as Zelda and Fairy rushed out with the sword. "Aww, that was for the hero of time."

**Malon and Saria**

"Okay calm down little guy" Malon said to the little Goron.

"Yeah. We're hear to help you…I think" Saria said to it.

"The big evil man took my daddy and the rest of the Gorons to the fire temple to feed the HUGE FIRE BREATHING DRAGON" the baby Goron said.

"Great we're on Death Mountain and now we're going to a Fire temple. I think our fate is coming more clearly," Malon said.

"Whats your name kid?" Saria said ignoring Malon's comment.

"Link. My dad named me after the kid who saved the Gorons seven years ago. I wonder where he is now…."

"Well…um…"

**Egypt**

Raising a mongoose was no help. It just caused Link's back to become more painful. But to Navi's relief, a strange man came walking by the Temple. Navi explained the situation to him hoping he could help. Well the man couldn't quite understand why he was talking to a big blue ball of light but he decided he would help.

"Now what exactly is this "TNT again"? " Navi asked.

Trinitrotoluene, it'll blow it right up," the man explained. "You might wanna back up from the block you um flying creature of light"

"The names Navi"

"Rrrriiigghhht"

Navi flew behind the man. The man put a match to the TNT barrels. After a few seconds it exploded causing the debris to fly everywhere.

"Link are you okay?" Navi asked flying to his friend.

Link coughed a few times. "I'm fine…I think. I can't feel my back…but that's okay"

"I see my work here is done. If anybody asks I was never here to rob this temple," The man said as he walked away"

Navi and Link exchange confusing glances shrugged and went in to the Temple of Time.

**Goron City**

"I'm pretty sure he's fine where ever he is"

"So where is this fire Temple" Malon asked.

"Dads room, on the bottom floor, behind the huge statue can't miss it." Goron Link said. "After you go behind the statue you'll be in a volcano but you'll see the entrance to the Temple not to far off"

"Death Mountain, Volcano, Fire Temple. Life is coming to an end as we know it" Malon thought to her self.

"Tha-…"

Before Saria could finish speaking, Zelda and Fairy came crashing in pushing herself, Malon and Saria off the edge to the bottom floor.

They all rubbed their painful heads. This was the second time they fallen into pain.

Malon was pretty frustrated with Zelda. "What…in the name…of friggin Din…is YOUR PROBLEM !"

"Zelda pissed off an huge Goron by stealing its sword causing her to run in fear" Fairy kindly explained.

"Good Job" Malon said to Zelda sarcastically.

"How come you didn't let it kill Zelda?" Saria asked Navi.

"Show them the sword" Fairy said ignoring Saria.

Zelda pulled the sword out. Lights from the Goddesses shined upon it…along with some corny music.

"A bit dramatic don't you think? I mean it's not Excalibur" Saria commented.

"Aww how cute….Lets go" Malon said in a mood change.

"You don't like the blade?" Zelda asked teary eyed.

"We don't have time for this. We have Gorons to save" Malon said.

"Great" Zelda sighed. "More Gorons"

**Skull Kid**

"Lemme get this straight. Your Leader of the Gorons so you need me to go in there and slay the HUGE SLEEPING FIRE BREATHING DRAGON so he won't eat your Goron cousins up?" Sk asked trying to make sure he understood things.

"Right" Darunia confirmed. "But the Gorons are going to eventually break out the cages…there made of wood"

"But why do I have ta save your Goron family? Notice the key words are underlined"

"Jus go" Before SK could say another word Darunia tossed him back in the room with the HUGE SLEEPING FIRE BREATHING DRAGON.

Skull Kid moved toward the beast trying not to wake it up. He tripped over a rock causing him to hit the ground making him scream thinking it was the HUGE SLEEPING FIRE BREATHING DRAGON who made him trip. He then notice even after he hit the ground (really hard) and screamed (really loud) the creature was still sleep. Skull Kid unsheathed his sword and started poking it. When he pulled his sword back up…it had…cotton on it? Skull Kid then walked around to the dragons tail and read: PROPERTY OF GERUDO DUMMY MAKING FACTORY USED TO SCARE GORONS THINKING THERE WAS A HUGE FIRE BREATHING DRAGON GOING TO EAT THEM. Disappointed Skull Kid walked out the room.

Skull Kid tapped on Darunia shoulder. "Um Darunia, the HUGE SLEEPING FIRE BREATHING DRAGON is a HUGE SLEEPING FIRE BREATHING DRAGON DUMMY!"

"What do you mean?" Darunia asked confused.

"It's not real"

"Oh…. well" Darunia stared down at the little angry forest creature. "Here's an megaton hammer and this big red shiny thing for your troubles toodles" Darunia handed him the items and quickly disappeared.

Skull stared down at the medallion (the big red shiny thingy). "Shiny"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Malon, Saria, and Zelda entered the Fire Temple, SK was coming out.

"Hey it's SK!" Zelda ran up and hugged him.

"Yep the one and only. So where do we go next?" SK asked.

"We have to go in here and save the Gorons" Malon said.

"No we don't Darunia said that it's only a matter of time before the Gorons notice there cages are made of wood" SK explained.

"Darunia?"

"Leader of the Gorons"

"And what if there's a medallion in here?" Saria asked.

"Right here" Sk pulled out the medallion, "And I got this cool hamma too"

"Hey wanna trade? I got this cool sword," Zelda asked

"Okay" Sk said. They traded weapons.

"Well that settles it…where to next?" Malon asked.

"We shall check out the waters. Zora's domain to be more specific." Fairy said reading a strategy book.

"Where exactly do these "Zora's" live?" Malon asked.

"In the water duh" Zelda said

"Why do I bother…"?

* * *

Thanks for reading. I know I haven't update in awhile but…. yeah…REVIEW!

* * *

**Somewhere in the Fire Temple**

A Goron banged on his wooded cage and it breaks apart.

"Yay!"


End file.
